Taken at Franklin Park Conservatory last Sunday
"When the heart speaks, take good notes." — Judith Campbell
I have not been blogging much of late, and I miss it.
But I'm so glad that I made a public commitment to this Flowering Fridays feature, because it ensures that I blog at least once most weeks.
I have been thinking about commitment of late; in particular what I am willing to commit to in my life. And what I avoid committing to.
I'm noticing that I have a phobia about commitment, especially when it comes to my professional and creative projects. I prefer the freedom to keep my options open. To dream and long for, but not commit.
Part of my commitment issue comes from the "out" that not committing allows me. It keeps me "safe" from failure and naysayers. It keeps me from having to put myself out there. In reality, I'm seeing that not committing = staying in my fear.
I went to the urgent care this morning for heart palpitations and fatigue. Thankfully, everything checked out normal. But I didn't feel normal at all — dead tired, chest pounding, feeling all spacey.
Thankfully, I also had an energy session scheduled today with Diane Herold, a healer/intuitive that I love.
In her estimation, part of my heart's murmuring to me was around the fear I am experiencing around my creative and professional direction of late. And the fact that I keep going to my head whenever I have an idea and explain it away before I ever give it a chance.
It seems that my heart is saying (pounding loud and strong) that I need to listen to it.
I am beginner at moving from my heart. But it's something I am willing to commit to, as I know it holds the key for me to fully access both my creativity and my contribution in the world.
Last Sunday, Michael and I were in Starbucks in Columbus's hip Short North district and I was reading "The Way I See It" quote on the side of the cup. My cup had #76, this gem that I so needed to hear:
The irony of commitment is that it’s deeply liberating. The act frees you the tyranny of your internal critic, from the fear that likes to dress itself up and parade around as rational hestitation. To commit is to remove your head as the barrier to your life. — Anne Morris
For me, this is a more liberating view of commitment — one that can offer me access to the wisdom of my heart.
Tell me, what is your heart calling you to commit to more fully? Which of your dreams would you commit to if you could free yourself from the fear?
********* Flowering Fridays is a weekly look at flowers through the lens of what they might teach us about flowering fully in our life. Past editions are here.