Water lily in my tub pond in my garden, two weeks ago
The body and mind are cooled and soothed, by the touchstone of Truth. This is the true mark of wisdom, that one remains detached, like the water-lily, or the lotus upon the water.
— Sri Guru Granth Sahib quotes
Being here in Cleveland as my mom heals in ICU has been one of the most powerful spiritual opportunities of my life for how to be with uncertainty and how to befriend the fear that can accompany us on our life journey.
This question has felt more poignant as I have been with Mom as she heals, but in truth, I realize that none of our lives is ever really certain.
Certainty is an illusion and an ego desire. Our soul, I believe, loves the wild adventure that life is.
Last week, I wrote about the practices that were grounding me as I sought to be presence and rooted during this journey.
(Although in my haze of all that was on my plate, I forgot to tie my post back to the flower metaphor I had envisioned. Oops.)
This week, my opportunity has been in how to be with all the fear that comes up for me — and all humans — when we face uncertainty.
I can see what a beginner I am at being with uncertainty and unpredictably.
Each day, I want the doctor to give me a clear prognosis and diagnosis. But so far, it's been gathering information, acting on that information and waiting.
When I am in fear and uncertainty, this journey feels like a roller coaster, as my emotions go up and down throughout the day. I feel exhausted. I snap at my husband. I get frustrated with my siblings and myself.
But I have also had a different experience at times.
One of feeling centered and calm, of experiencing the love and trust of the universe, and of taking whatever information I have as only one piece of a much larger puzzle that is unfolding.
This is how I want to be more and more not only with this situation, but in my life:
I can't say yet that I'm masterful at this, but I'm thankful for the experience of being with my mom so that I can practice in real time.
What helps to access my water lily state is to first acknowledge and be with the fear. (When I try to ignore or stuff that is there, that's when the trouble starts, like eating cookies late at night.)
Only after I listen to the fear and what it is saying can I connect in with the larger wisdom at work in the world.
Then, and only then, I truly can let go of the oars and float in the stream of life.
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Flowering Fridays is a weekly look at flowers through the lens of what they might teach us about flowering fully in our life. Past editions are here.