Flowerings Fridays: Where Does the Flower Go?
Friday, October 2, 2009 at 12:01AM 
Michaelmas daisies in our meadow last week
Where does a flower go
Its petals so bright with the beauty of the sun
Where does a flower go
Nectar so sweet it makes the bees buzz
Where does a flower go
With beauty that fills a lover's heart
Where does a flower go
Wrinkling color that falls to the ground
Where does a flower go
Seeds that feed the birds in flight
Where does a flower go
The juice of the stem and leaves retreating back to mother earth
Where does a flower go
Roots resting in the soil
Where does a flower go
A blanket of white covering its bed
Where does a flower go
It lives in my eyes, nose, fingers, heart, and soul
Where does a flower go
It returns to shine and fill the universe with love again
It returns to me and all
— written by Paul Abler, a friend of mine in Future Thinking, in August when he heard about my mom and her illness(Thank you, Paul. This poem has been such a gift to me!)
I am heading to Ohio on Saturday to be with my mom and family. She has been back in the ICU since last week and her condition continues to worsen. The doctor says that her lungs are "stiffening" from having ARDS and it's getting harder and harder for her to get oxygen. It is at the point where our family is looking at taking her off the ventilator and allowing her to finish her journey without its assistance. Such a hard place to be in — my mom is sedated and it is hard to know what her wishes are. I keep praying for guidance and wisdom and stand in the beautiful knowing that we never truly lose a flower — its beauty, love and blossom continues to shine always.
I also learned on Wednesday that my step-brother-in-law, Bill, has Stage IV lung cancer and was given 10 months to a year to live. (Sending so many prayers, love and healing light to him, my stepsister Jennifer and their two young kids).
Amid all this, we have been transforming the house. It has been a lot of work and late, late nights to get it there. (5 a.m.! 4 a.m.! 3 a.m.!) Thankfully, we've had a lot of help, too, and the house is looking amazing. Like a completely different house amazing. (I will post pictures soon.)
It is an understatement to say that's it has been a full week.
My opportunity with all that is going on is to see the love and support that is always there and to stay centered in that truth. It's not always easy (and I do forget and go into overwhelm), but it's something I'm committed to standing in.
Reader Comments (1)
I'm so sorry about your mom's situation, and know that you and your family will make the decision that best honors her life and your intentions toward her.
And I hope the home sale goes well, and permits you to embark on a new chapter of discovery.
Joseph Campbell once said: "Beauty invokes; the sublime shatters. The sublime is experienced--I mean real sublimity, with enormous spaces or in areas of enormous power."
You're dealing with such powerful situations: journeys like the ones you're taking now peel away all the haze, all the distance between self and experience.
My wish for you: that as you take all of these life-altering steps, you stand in your strong, vivid, beautiful center and know you will emerge stronger, wiser, more vital than ever before.
You are the flower who blooms again and again, a hardy perennial that, season after season, year after year, holds its face to the sun.