Flowering Fridays: Like a Water Lily

Water lily in my tub pond in my garden, two weeks ago

The body and mind are cooled and soothed, by the touchstone of Truth. This is the true mark of wisdom, that one remains detached, like the water-lily, or the lotus upon the water.
— Sri Guru Granth Sahib quotes

Being here in Cleveland as my mom heals in ICU has been one of the most powerful spiritual opportunities of my life for how to be with uncertainty and how to befriend the fear that can accompany us on our life journey.

How can I trust in the unfolding of life, when nothing, even life, is certain?

This question has felt more poignant as I have been with Mom as she heals, but in truth, I realize that none of our lives is ever really certain.

Certainty is an illusion and an ego desire. Our soul, I believe, loves the wild adventure that life is.

Last week, I wrote about the practices that were grounding me as I sought to be presence and rooted during this journey.

(Although in my haze of all that was on my plate, I forgot to tie my post back to the flower metaphor I had envisioned. Oops.)

This week, my opportunity has been in how to be with all the fear that comes up for me — and all humans — when we face uncertainty.

Put another way: how do I detach from the fear and drama to stand in a place of centered wisdom that all is unfolding as it should for the greatest good of all?

I can see what a beginner I am at being with uncertainty and unpredictably.

Each day, I want the doctor to give me a clear prognosis and diagnosis. But so far, it's been gathering information, acting on that information and waiting.

When I am in fear and uncertainty, this journey feels like a roller coaster, as my emotions go up and down throughout the day. I feel exhausted. I snap at my husband. I get frustrated with my siblings and myself.

But I have also had a different experience at times.

One of feeling centered and calm, of experiencing the love and trust of the universe, and of taking whatever information I have as only one piece of a much larger puzzle that is unfolding.

This is how I want to be more and more not only with this situation, but in my life:

To float like the water lily, serene and calm as it sits above the water. Trusting it is held by the water and rising above the dark murky water of life to bloom fully.

I can't say yet that I'm masterful at this, but I'm thankful for the experience of being with my mom so that I can practice in real time.

What helps to access my water lily state is to first acknowledge and be with the fear. (When I try to ignore or stuff that is there, that's when the trouble starts, like eating cookies late at night.)

Only after I listen to the fear and what it is saying can I connect in with the larger wisdom at work in the world.

Then, and only then, I truly can let go of the oars and float in the stream of life.

Tell me, how do you detach so that you can connect with Wisdom?

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Flowering Fridays is a weekly look at flowers through the lens of what they might teach us about flowering fully in our life. Past editions are here.

Flowering Fridays: Staying Centered in the Garden of Life

Nasturium in my garden, taken last week

Last week when I typed my intention for our family trip to exploring the Carolinas:

Trusting. Enjoying the process. And knowing that on some level it's irrelevant what we decide: we'll be blooming wherever we are.

How how little did I know that I would be given the opportunity to really put this into practice.

My mom had a knee replacement last week, and over the weekend developed problems with breathing and excessive coughing. On Monday, she was transferred from her rehab facility to a hospital.

And since Monday night, she's been in ICU on a ventilator as we've waited to see if her lungs will clear up and she can again breathe on her own.(Thankfully, she is showing steady signs of improvement and her condition is listed as critical but stable.)

On Tuesday morning, we made the decision that I would fly to Cleveland to be with my mom and my family. Michael and Grace have continued on with our vacation, exploring Charleston, Pearl Fryar's magical topiary garden and for the next few days, Charlotte, SC.

It's really been amazing how wonderful this experience has been.

Yes, it's no fun seeing my mom in critical condition. I want her to heal and get back on her feet (literally and figuratively) as soon as possible.

But there have been some wonderful gifts to being here, and in many ways I'm having just as much "fun" as if I had been on vacation.

The experience I'm having is a conscious choice.

I could choose to see this from a lens of fear and crisis. (Of course, sometimes I do have moments of feeling of fear, worry, and sadness. I am human and those feeling will come up)

But I am choosing to carry my original intention into my time being here with my mom.

I've been sharing a bit (actually a lot!) with the Future Thinking Community I'm part of. One of my FT friends asked me about the practicies and structures I had in place to support me in consciously standing in the trust and unfoldment of this process with my mom.

I thought I would share a slightly edited version of my response with you, too, as I am noticing how differently I am being with this experience that I had in the past.

In the past, I would have experienced a lot of panic, a lot of disappointment and resentment at having my trip "cut short, and probably a ton of frustrated tears. (There have been tears, but they have felt deep and authentic when they come.)

But it's different this time, and I think it has a lot to do with my practices and intentions.

The main practice I have been doing is this:

• Reviewing my higher intention for being here with my mom three times a day.

I have a commitment that I took on from a James Ray seminar Michael and I attended last month, which involves reviewing some new beliefs three times a day. I have the beliefs written on a small index card that I keep in the front pocket of my planner. I also have an alarm on my phone (also linked to my computer) that alerts me three times a day to review these beliefs.

I wrote down an intention for how I want to be during my time with my mom. When the alarm goes off, I review this intention along with the other beliefs. I also take my planner with me wherever I go. Quick and easy.

Some other practices/structures that are supporting me this week:

• Using the BigThinkers community email list as a place to name, go public and reconnect with my intention

I am viewing the Future Thinking community email list as a container and practice ground for me to name (via email) and process what I'm up to. When I write on BigThinkers, it keeps how I want to be with my mom up front for me and helps to ground me in that intention. Also by going public with what I'm up to, I honor the commitments I have in a deeper way and they seem to go into my body more deeply than when I just "think about' them.

• Notice the flowers as I walk into the hospital

There are some lovely day lilies and roses in front of the hospital, and I make a conscious decision to notice them each time I walk by them. I have even stopped to look at them up close. Because I have been practicing my connection to flowers with some intention for the past year, this is an easy and quick way for me to shift into a place of deep centeredness in the gift I am and ground myself in how I want to be.

• Starting My Day with Self-Love & Honoring

First thing each day, I review the above-mentioned beliefs. I also do a couple other things in the morning:

• yoga
• listening to my trophy song (a song that reflects how I want to be and fits the mood I want to be — right now, it's Grateful from Karen Drucker).
• 5 minutes of visualization of what I want to create with my new writing project.
• create a gratitude list of things I'm grateful for

These things help to start my day centered, upbeat mood and with a feeling of gratitude. It also allows me to start my day by filling myself up. I am loving how centered and full I feel by starting my day honoring my commitment to myself. In the past, my self-care was always the first to go, and I'm learning that I can be on vacation and be with my family while my mother is in ICU and still make time to honor these commitments.

• Honoring My Commitment to My Development

I have viewed my commitment to my development as a high priority so I made the time to be on the Wednesday conference call with the Future Thinking Community and left the hospital. In the past, I might have thought I was in "too much of a crisis" or that I should be with my mother as it was "selfish" to do this for myself. But on Wednesday, I had a lot of fear coming up for me and I sort of saw the call like an alcoholic might view an AA meeting — as necessary to my development and sanity.

• Noticing My Body Cues to Check In

I have been checking in with myself several times a day to notice what I'm feeling in my body and see what's coming up for me. This practice has helped me to be more conscious of what I'm feeling and how I'm being, and several times I was able to shift into my higher intention or think of flowers or connect with the gratitude of the present moment.

• Carrying the Handouts and Inspirational Reading in my bag

I have copies of some current coursework we are focusing on in Future Thinking and a copy of The Shack with me. It has given me something uplifting and purposeful to look at when I have a moment of quiet and want to read something other than the copy of the Enquirer in the waiting room.

• Connecting in with my Soulful Values for Aliveness and Adventure by Asking Questions

In the past, I might have been really disappointed that my vacation was interrupted. And while I would love to be Michael and Grace as they enjoy their journey through South Carolina, I am finding that I can a "vacation mood" wherever I'm at. I have kept these values with me this week, and have asked myself the question several times: "how am I on vacation now?" and "where is the learning or aliveness for me in this moment?" And then take action from there.

I also made a request of Michael and Grace to share their journey with me, and they have been great about sharing the little and big details from their trip. (For example, Michael just called to share he's having sweet potato pie for dessert at a BBQ Shack in SC. Yesterday he sent me a picture of the Moon Pie store at Charleston).

It's been so great because I'm also experiencing the aliveness and adventure that I was out to have on the vacation through their sharing even though I'm not there.. And each time they share something with me during the day it's a reminder of my value for adventure and aliveness and a reminder to check in with how I'm choosing to experience those values in this moment.

I have also several times brought to my conscious the phrase: notice the flowers. It helps me to shift as I was sitting in the ICU unit to a place of marveling at the sacred journey we are all on, each with our own timing and journey of going from seed to seed again (the cycle of life) and how our sacred journeys and our sacred centers (souls) are also so very unique and precious.

Next to my mom's room, there is a man who has been taken off the ventilator and his family is holding vigil until he dies, in another room a man who is more alert has been playing his harmonica or listening to a family member play harmonica. It's all very beautiful to me, seeing all these flowers in their various stages of life.

• Mindfully Closing My Day

I have been mindful to check in with myself at the end of the day — to just do an inventory of how I did in honoring my intention for that day. I also check in with how my body was feeling. One night I did a little yoga and some deep breathing to relax. Another night I listened to a guided meditation. I keep both yoga podcasts and meditations on my iPhone so that they are always handy and I have choice for what I will work best for me in the moment.

Tell me, what centers you in your life so that you can be present to whatever is blooming in your life in the moment?

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Flowering Fridays is a weekly look at flowers through the lens of what they might teach us about flowering fully in our life. Past editions are here.

Flowering Friday: Enjoying the Unfolding

Zinnia in our garden, about to bloom

In a few hours, I will be on a plane to North Carolina where we will be spending the next nine days exploring the area.

It's part a family vacation and part an exploration into the question of "Might we like to live here?"

We are concentrating the "living question" around the Raleigh-Durham-Chapel Hill area. We will be spending two days looking at homes with a realtor. We will tour the local Waldorf school. We will spending another two days driving around and checking out the area. We will probably ask the locals what they love about living there. We will eat some barbeque. We will see how a hot humid, 90-plus degree summer feels.

(Then, we will also visit the Atlantic Ocean, Charlotte and hopefully see Pearl Fryar's amazing topiary garden.)

I'm very excited to see what the next nine days unfolds.

We might decide we want to move. We might decide we're happy where we are. We might decide that more exploring is needed before we'll know.

No matter what unfolds I just want to be in the joy of the journey.

I toss that last sentence off like it's no big deal.

But it is, in fact, a big deal for me.

I've spent so much of my life wanting everything all planned out. Thinking if I just planned or worked or tried hard enough everything would be okay.

And when everything was okay, I would (finally) be okay, too.

I'm finally getting that isn't how life works.

It's sounds trite, but I'm really starting to open up to enjoying the journey, instead of longing for the destination to arrive.

I'm finding that I'm okay, right now, on the path, just as I am.

The joy is to be had right now. Not saved for someday.

While there have been many lessons and teachers that have created that opening, I think it's been the flowers that have taught me the most about enjoying the journey.

I look at this beautiful zinnia. Not yet in bloom, and still beautiful. Still (as I see it) joyful. Still trusting and enjoying the ride that blooming big is.

Whether we move or not, I'm carrying the image of this zinnia as my intention for how I want to be as our family considers this question:

Trusting. Enjoying the process. And knowing that on some level it's irrelevant what we decide: we'll be blooming wherever we are.

Tell me, what's your best wisdom on deciding to make a move in your life (literally or figuratively)? I'd love to hear it.

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Flowering Fridays is a weekly look at flowers through the lens of what they might teach us about flowering fully in our life. Past editions are here.