Flowering Fridays: Opening Up

From the tulip bouquet on our table last week

"The big question is whether you are going to be able to say a hearty yes to your adventure." — Joseph Campbell

I've been in a weird place of late. Feeling like I'm in a holding pattern. Or maybe frozen in place by fear and self-doubt.

I know that part of my gift in this world is around expression in all its forms and around inspiring others to do the same. I also know that I'm being called to expand myself into new directions, but I'm not yet clear exactly what those new things look like.

And so I question: Should I be doing poetry? Making art with my hands? Working with people who are starting their businesses? Re-branding myself and choosing a new business name? Writing more on this blog? Not writing at all?

In this swirl of questioning, I hold myself back, out of confusion and fear and into intertia.

Last week, I enjoyed my first vase of tulips this year. They seem so optimistic and hopeful for the last legs of a Wisconsin winter. I watched them go from tightly closed buds into flowers so open their petals eventually fell off.

I think of how the flowers blooms, and how they open so naturally. How they flow with the cycle of nature. How they turn themselves to the sun, open themselves to the work of the bees, and breath in and out as the tulips do so well.

I think of these lines from a poem I've loved since I was a teen, the Sylvia Path poem, Tulips:

And I am aware of my heart: it opens and closes
Its bowl of red blooms out of sheer love of me.

The closed off place I have been in is not natural.

Our nature is to open. To receive and to offer. To bloom.

Yesterday, I received a clear message from my guides: Start something. Look for ways to be of service. 

And, thanks to a divinely timed phone call from a dear friend who is a radiantly blooming artist, I have my first service opportunity.

In a meditation last fall, I received a similar message: Start small. Put yourself out there.

(Okay, universe, I get it. Really I do.)

As much as it scares me to keep stepping forward with so much fear, uncertainty and self-doubt. I am going to trust my heart to take the steps toward something. 

I walk forward knowing that I am surrounded by the love and support of the universe every step of the way.

Tell me, what part of your life and your dreams are you closed off to? Where could you "start something" and open up a little more to fully blooming in your life?

I'd love to hear your comments and how your journey to blooming big in your life is unfolding. 

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Flowering Fridays is a weekly look at flowers through the lens of what they might teach us about flowering fully in our life. Past editions are here.

Flowering Fridays: With All My Heart

Taken at Franklin Park Conservatory last Sunday

"When the heart speaks, take good notes." — Judith Campbell

I have not been blogging much of late, and I miss it.

But I'm so glad that I made a public commitment to this Flowering Fridays feature, because it ensures that I blog at least once most weeks.

I have been thinking about commitment of late; in particular what I am willing to commit to in my life. And what I avoid committing to. 

I'm noticing that I have a phobia about commitment, especially when it comes to my professional and creative projects. I prefer the freedom to keep my options open. To dream and long for, but not commit.

Part of my commitment issue comes from the "out" that not committing allows me. It keeps me "safe" from failure and naysayers. It keeps me from having to put myself out there. In reality, I'm seeing that not committing = staying in my fear.

I went to the urgent care this morning for heart palpitations and fatigue. Thankfully, everything checked out normal. But I didn't feel normal at all — dead tired, chest pounding, feeling all spacey.

Thankfully, I also had an energy session scheduled today with Diane Herold, a healer/intuitive that I love. 

In her estimation, part of my heart's murmuring to me was around the fear I am experiencing around my creative and professional direction of late. And the fact that I keep going to my head whenever I have an idea and explain it away before I ever give it a chance.

It seems that my heart is saying (pounding loud and strong) that I need to listen to it. 

I am beginner at moving from my heart. But it's something I am willing to commit to, as I know it holds the key for me to fully access both my creativity and my contribution in the world.

Last Sunday, Michael and I were in Starbucks in Columbus's hip Short North district and I was reading "The Way I See It" quote on the side of the cup. My cup had #76, this gem that I so needed to hear:

The irony of commitment is that it’s deeply liberating. The act frees you the tyranny of your internal critic, from the fear that likes to dress itself up and parade around as rational hestitation. To commit is to remove your head as the barrier to your life. — Anne Morris

For me, this is a more liberating view of commitment — one that can offer me access to the wisdom of my heart.

Tell me, what is your heart calling you to commit to more fully? Which of your dreams would you commit to if you could free yourself from the fear?

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Flowering Fridays is a weekly look at flowers through the lens of what they might teach us about flowering fully in our life. Past editions are here.

Flowering Fridays: Cheering On the Seedling

Seedling, The Cheerleader by Eran Finkle , published under Creative Commons license

I'm off tomorrow to Columbus, Ohio, where I will be celebrate the blooming of a seed that my dear friend, Dhanu, planted more than a decade ago.

It will be a great honor to attend the grand opening of her new holistic pediatric practice and yoga studio, WholeKids.

When I met her, she talked about wanting to practice medicine in a different way. And she tended to that seed of desire through many years of searching, planning and mustering up the tremendous courage it takes for any of us to go after our biggest dreams.  

What I find especially inspiring is that she tended to that seed even though she had nothing more to go on than the fact it was her dream and it burned brightly inside her. 

And now all these years later, her dream has taken root. 

I'm thrilled to be there as a cheerleader for this beautiful seed she is planting for herself and the community. And the truth is that I wouldn't miss the celebration of this significant milestone, both for the wonderful woman she is and also as a stand for anyone who has a dream and goes for it.

Tell me, what seeds of your biggest and boldest dreams will you plant and tend to until they take root?

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Flowering Fridays is a weekly look at flowers through the lens of what they might teach us about flowering fully in our life. Past editions are here.